MARRIAGE AND SEX...WHO HAS THE UPPER HAND?

Is it me or does every husband deal with this same issue...My wife will usually refer to sex as her giving me some.  WTF!  She has this whole thing twisted around!  It is no longer a mutual agreement.  It's her going out of her way to "give me some."  Like she doesn't get nothing out of it!  I guess this is how it goes after being married for almost 14 years.

So what do I do about it, you asked?  It's simple.  It's called porn!  I love it!

I've also figured a couple of things out along the way too, but I probably couldn't have without some good ol' porn to help a brotha out in some pretty rough times. What I figured out is that my wife still wants to have sex...and with me...just not as often!  Our sex cycle is different that's all.  I want to have sex usually 2 to 3 times a day.  My wife thinks I have some type of sex addiction...I told her I'm just a man.  My wife probably wants to have sex around 2 to 3 times a week.  Like I said...thank God for porn...and thank God for letting me be able to watch it on my phone!  Man, it must have sucked being a husband back in the good old days before the internet and smart phones.

So now I don't ask for sex no more, and on top of that it's no longer her "giving me some." Now a days it's more like her asking me to give her some!  I guess we could call this technology of the internet, smart phones, and free porn another small step for mankind because without it...I don't think I would be the only one in trouble.

My wife lives in "The Bubble"

So have you seen that Jerry Seinfeld episode where Elaine is dating an above average looking guy who she claims gets basically everything handed to him and is favored in life as a result of his good looks?

Well that episode hits pretty close to home...not for me, but for my wife!

Some people might say that I "married up."  At least in the looks department...but what other department matters, right?  I'll give you an example.  The other day my wife went to the bank to deposit some checks, and she gets offered a job!  Just like that!  She could be a serial killer for all they know, but I guess that doesn't matter.  And that's not the first time she's been offered a job on the spot. It happens all of the time. As a matter of fact my wife has never even had a real job or at least a full-time job.  Wait she actually did have a full time job once where she got paid for full time and worked maybe 3 hours!  You get my point. 

Life must be nice, right?

I guess I should consider myself fortunate to have been lucky enough to marry such a beautiful woman...even if her outlook on life is a little distorted.